The Quest for the Golden Girdle
by DN641
Summary: It is said that humanity will be saved through the twelve labors of its Nodos, but some of the Argonaut's crew think a thirteenth is needed...


_Heroic Tribe – warriors of unspeakable strength bound into servitude by the old masters of the universe, the Golden Tribe. Humanity, known as the Iron Tribe, was granted the right to draft a contract with one of these warriors, charging him with the task of completing any twelve labors humanity desired. While the labors were decided long ago, now some see fit to add a thirteenth to the list... _

"Dude, this has GOT to be the best plan in the history of, like, ever." The motley crew of pilots, led by the intrepid Iolaus, crept through the hanger as quietly as possible. Age could be heard just ahead, humming merrily while augmenting his finger-paint masterpiece on the hanger walls. Iolaus poked his head out from behind a mech. No sign of Tayl or Mayl anywhere. Perfect. He nodded to his accomplices, who took their places. Iolaus took a deep breath. This HAD to work. There was no way that monkey would see through it...   
The hanger was bathed in a blinding light, and a chorus of angels sang out in glory. An elegant golden figure emerged from behind the machine, gliding towards Age with its cloak flowing majestically behind it. "Age..." bellowed the creature. Age slowly turned his head. "O... Otou-san?!" he exclaimed. Sure enough, he was faced by a member of the great Golden Tribe. Or so it seemed. From under the cloak, Iolaus stifled a snicker. "Is it really you?"  
"Yes, Age, and I have returned to charge you with an important task," Iolaus boomed. "Something that only you can do."  
"Task..." said Age, planting his hand on his head, "but, Otou-san only mentioned Deianeira-sama's..."  
"I apologize, but you were not ready then," Iolaus responded, coolly. "I had to wait until now to impart this wisdom unto you, when you had finally found your place among the humans."  
The guys working the lights were impressed. "That's seriously epic!"  
"Heh, you know... he should have said... 'when you came of age.' You get it? Huh? You..." Upon completion of the pun, the offender received a punch in the face.  
Age didn't try to understand, but just threw his arms back and grinned. "Oh well, if Otou-san says so, it must be important!"  
"Good. Listen carefully, Age... I need you to obtain something for me," said Iolaus. His palms were sweating. He was close, and now he had to just go for it. "You must obtain..." - Iolaus extended his arm dramatically - "Deianeira's golden girdle!"  
A deafening silence fell over the hanger, and even the faux chorus abruptly ended. Age stared at the golden figure for a moment, and his face abruptly faltered. "Girdle?" he asked, genuinely confused.  
Iolaus' mouth dropped in shock. He really should have seen it coming. The very foolishness that made the plan feasible also doomed it, since there was honestly no way Age would have any idea what they were after. "You know... you wear it under your, um..." He imagined it wrapped around Deianeira's fair skin, hugging her curvaceous... The thought was making Iolaus dizzy. He flailed wildly while Age watched with a dumbfounded look on his face.  
Some of the guys in the rafters were giggling at the sight of the magnificent golden being outlining an hour-glass figure in midair while trying to explain the precious qualities of their princess' undergarments. "Get a picture, dude, he's totally losing it!"  
"I think I understand," Age said at last. "I'll do my best."  
Iolaus calmed down. "Good, I will be waiting for you here. Be careful. Do not let anyone know about your task. The humans will not understand; it is beyond them."  
Age bounced out of the hanger and into the ship's catacombic hallways, while Iolaus breathed a sigh of relief. Now he could attend to other pressing matters. He had noticed a camera flash from above, and that did not make him happy. Those goons probably thought they were safe, but he was about to remind them of his teleporting abilities...

"I can't believe you fell asleep, I thought you said you would watch him!" "I did, and I remember telling you it was your turn, and you said okay..."  
"I did not!"  
"If he makes another mess, we'll never hear the end of it..."  
Tayl and Mayl were hurriedly making their way through the corridors of the Argonaut desperately trying to find Age, whom they had lost track of close to an hour ago. They were drawing curious stares and amused looks from passing crew members, which they were unable to decipher. In their hurry to find Age, neither had noticed that he'd painted a few interesting facial features on the two while they were napping. Instead, they had scrambled to their feet and made a beeline for the hanger, the most likely place he would be according to their calculations.  
They neared a corner, and as luck would have it, Age was flying around it from the other side. A shriek erupted from the girls as they tried to slow down, but to no avail. There was a thud, and the three of them found themselves staring at the ceiling in a daze.  
Age shuffled to his feet and quickly ran off. Tayl and Mayl struggled to get up. "Age, wait a minute..." Tayl sputtered.  
"Sorry, Otou-san is counting on me!" shouted Age in reply. "I have to see Deianeira-sama right away!"  
"Deianeira-sama?" muttered Mayl.  
"Otou-san?" followed Tayl. "He's acting weirder than usual..."  
"We'd better see what he's been up to..." said Mayl. The two dusted themselves off and ambled into the hanger. They saw Age's paints had been abandoned by the wall, and a group of rather boisterous pilots were nearby, high-fiving and making a general commotion. Iolaus had poked his head out from under the cloak and seemed relaxed.  
"I thought you were going to give it away there, man," said one of the guys, patting him on the back. "You really think he can pull it off?"  
"Deianeira-sama has a soft spot for that monkey," said Iolaus, "so I'm sure he can do it."  
"Do WHAT?" The shrill voice of a rather annoyed young woman startled them all into silence. Tayl and Mayl stood at the entrance to the bay with crossed arms and crosser looks. The pilots took one look at them and burst out laughing. "What? What's so funny?" Iolaus just pointed to his face. Tayl and Mayl finally took a moment to look at each other. They pointed at each other's faces and screamed.  
The pilots shared a good laugh while the two ran off to wash up. Tayl and Mayl returned a moment later looking more flustered than before. Iolaus was left alone by his mech, still draped in the golden cloak, as the others had drifted off to wait for the goods to arrive. The sisters stomped up to their brother and cast an angry stare. "What mischief have you all gotten Age into?" asked Tayl.  
"Mischief?" asked Iolaus in a surprised tone. "I have no idea what you're talking about."  
"What's all this, then?" Mayl shot back, picking up a corner of the cloak.  
"Nothing much..." muttered Iolaus.  
Mayl put two and two together. "Age mentioned 'Otou-san' when we met him... wait a minute... brother, you were impersonating the Golden Tribe to get Age to do something!"  
Iolaus was taken aback. He hadn't planned for this at all. "What makes you think..." he began, but he was immediately sandwiched between the two, who both were eying him curiously.  
"He does look the part," Tayl agreed, "but what would make him go through all this trouble?"  
There was a crash and a sudden burst of wind from the doorway. Age had exploded onto the scene with an armful of panties. One additional pair, quite frilly and covered in pink hearts, was pulled over his head. Tayl and Mayl took one look and their faces turned a vibrant shade of red. A trickle of blood escaped from Iolaus' nose, an eye twitching and his jaw dropping.  
"Io... laus..." said Age, looking around the room. Iolaus began to sweat profusely. He was caught out of costume, the jig was up! "That's funny, Otou-san said he would be here." Or maybe not. Before Iolaus could say anything, Age leaped across the hanger in search of his phantom father. "And Deianeira-sama said these were the best, too..." Stretched far past his breaking point, the trickle became a torrent, and Iolaus fell backwards onto the floor.  
"Unbelievable... to go this far..." Tayl said at last, finally realizing her brother's intentions. "From a Junos Knight, no less..."\  
Iolaus regained his senses and sat up. "A trinket, it's all I wanted..." he sighed. "You know, it was not uncommon for the knights of old to receive favors from their maidens..."  
The twins knelt by their brother, twisting their faces into visages of playful evil. Mayl's eyes gleamed ominously. "We should take this straight to Deianeira-sama," she said deeply.  
"You... you couldn't!" stammered Iolaus.  
"We could," laughed Tayl. "Unless, of course, we can work something out..." Iolaus whimpered, utterly defeated. He bet they were going to raise the price for pictures of his beloved princess as blackmail. Again.

Aneesha dashed towards the princess' quarters. She had seen the most bizarre sight – a galactic superweapon racing determinedly through the ship with a hefty portion of Deianeira's lingerie. She had to make sure everything was all right...  
"Deianeira-sama!" she cried, bursting into the room. She paused for a moment to take in the sight of the princess, kneeling on the floor surrounded by various articles of intimate attire. Her bureau, it appeared, had been emptied. She was simply staring into space with a dreamy look in her eyes and a slight blush on her face. "Are you... all right?" Aneesha asked at last.  
"He is SO CUTE when he's forward," signed Deianeira, sinking happily into a large fluffy pillow. Aneesha signed. Deianeira's crush on Age just simply wasn't normal.


End file.
